


December Mornings

by thesarcasticone



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Future Fic, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 08:03:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9063439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesarcasticone/pseuds/thesarcasticone
Summary: Christmas is a time of love and joy, of peace and family. A knock on their door turns their Christmas morning around. Laurel can't forgive, but that doesn't mean she can't give it a try. Five years after leaving Annalise and everything which she stood for, Laurel finds herself with a kid, a cup of coffee and the memories of a time she wishes to forget.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Late, because I'm horrible and I have a lot of family and I haven't been able to find the time! 
> 
> Laurel and her daughter are celebrating Christmas when an unexpected visitor arrives and shakes Laurel to the core.
> 
> Written in a hurry and edited in a hurry. All so I can post before the 26th (11:05 pm where I'm at). All mistakes are my own. Please forgive.

She would never get used to the snow, the constant battle it entailed. She felt foreign to it. Her childhood winter memories were filled with the remembrance of cold nights and large coats, but never with freezing winds and below zero temperatures. They weren't something she hated, the fall of the soft but prickling snowflakes; the white and almost sparkling view of the landscape; but even after all these years, she felt foreign to it.

 

She watched the snow fall from her window, barely a thin layer of it covering the ground, silently wishing it wouldn’t get pass the inch or two. The cup coffee she had made earlier in the morning already getting cold in her hands as she watched the sun slowly rise, the view her window offered, a perfect one for the occasion.

 

"Mama?"

 

She turned as the voice woke her from her daydream, the small human it belonged to staring at her with big brown eyes still puffed from sleep.

 

"Hey, what're you doing up? Sun's not even out yet."

 

She walked towards her daughter, picking her up with a natural and easy smile, her exhaustion forgotten.

 

"God, you're getting heavy."

 

Her claim made the small girl giggle and give her mother a hug. "I'm not fat, mama."

 

"No, not fat. You have to promise me to stop growing though, if you do I'm not gonna be able to pick you up anymore."

 

The small child giggled as she buried her head in her mother's neck, amused by the adult's request, still sleepy from a short night's rest.

 

"What are you doing up so early, enana?"

 

The little girl smiled a wicked grin, a grin adorned with deep dimples and mischief which spoke of the girl's intellect, at five already smarter than most kids.

 

" _Es Navidad!_ " It started as a whisper but erupted into a full shout and a jolt which had Laurel bringing her daughter back down, her back and arms giving out at such force.

 

She couldn’t help but laugh, give out a full grin, one that only her five year-old could get out of her these days, as the little girl raced around the apartment, excitement oozing from every inch of her small and tired body.

 

"Ok, ok. You know the rules, we make chocolate and then…"

 

"Presents!" They both finished off, both with excitement and joy in their voices.

 

Laurel chuckled as she watched her daughter run towards the kitchen, still too small to actually reach any cupboards, yet trying to anyway. She slowly caught a last glimpse of the falling snow, now lighter than earlier, the sun now in full view, giving the morning a glow which she would never get used to seeing and being thankful for it, that there were still simple things in the world which could leave her breathless.

 

"Ollie, _por favor no corras en la cocina_!"

 

The girl turned to her mother with a sheepish smile, the final traces of sleep leaving her face as the usual spark which always habited her irises fully came alive within her.

 

"Ma!" The girl whined, finishing off with a giggle as she lost her balance for a second.

 

Laurel rolled her eyes, unable to remain angry at her daughter for a long period of time.

 

The little girl was the brightest light in Laurel's life, one she had never known she would cling to so hard. Olivia had served as the strength Laurel had needed to finally pack her bags and close the door on Annalise Keating and the mess her life had become. It was hard, balancing being a lawyer and being a single mom in one of the most fast-paced cities in the world, but New York had been nothing but a breath a fresh air for both of them.

 

"Mama look, look! I got the purple elephant I saw at the store! It's so soft - _suave_."

 

Laurel could only grin as she watched the energetic kid prance around the small living room, unwrapping present after present, shrieking every time she found a purple toy or piece of clothing and almost passing out as she realized she had just received the second Harry Potter book from Laurel's mother.

 

"It's in _Español_." The girl quirked her brow as she realized she had no idea what the words on the cover read.

 

" _Si, tu abuela me hizo el favor de consegurilo_."

 

Laurel enjoyed talking to her daughter in Spanish, even if the little girl could sometimes only understand about half of what she said.

 

"Abba?"

 

Laurel simply nodded as she sipped her now cold cup of hot chocolate.

 

"Tell her _gracias_."

 

"You can tell her yourself in a couple of hours, once she's awake. Now we-"

 

A knock interrupted Laurel, sending both girl's eyebrows up in question.

 

"Guests?" Olivia asked, her eyes confused, a clear frown on her face.

 

Laurel tried to remain clam, to control the paranoia which had managed to somehow always find a way back into her for the sake of little Olivia.

 

Without offering much of an explanation, but simply bending over to kiss her daughter's crown, she got up and went towards the door. Her pace sure and shoulders tense with uncertainty. No one she knew would ever dare bother Christmas morning, not when they all knew she had a five year-old to take care of; when it was one of the few days she actually allowed herself to ask for the day off.

 

As she looked into the peephole her heart stopped, sweat gathered on her brow and her knees shook.

 

Without much thought, she found herself opening the door, suddenly overcome with a strength she had never thought would still habit within her in the presence of the woman in front of her.

 

"Laurel," the woman began, with awe in her tone and a light in her eyes which spoke to Laurel of desperation and remorse.

 

"Annalise." Laurel acknowledged her.

 

A moment of silence went by as the two women contemplated the other. It was Laurel who broke it, "What are you-"

 

She wasn’t able to finish, the woman who so closely resembled that headstrong, fierce and storm of a lawyer interrupted her midsentence.

 

"Please hear me out before saying anything or before judging my knocking on your doorstep."

 

"Mama?" Olivia called from inside the apartment, a clear confusion in her voice, laced with a ping of worry.

 

Laurel took in a breath, closed her eyes, tried to close the door as much as possible so her daughter wouldn’t be able to see the woman standing outside, and turned towards the five year-old.

 

"Ollie, I have to talk to someone real quick, an old friend, ok? Wait for me in your room, please."

 

Olivia scrunched her face up, clearly not all happy with the arrangement, her hands firmly clutching one of her unopened presents.

 

"But, why?"

 

"Olivia, _por favor hazme caso, te voy a buscar en cinco minutos,_ ok?"

 

The small child huffed, but nodded and made her way towards her room. Laurel could only sigh in relief, the door opening a bit more, the woman standing outside still there, a look of -bewilderment upon her face.

 

"She sounds so grown up."

 

"Don’t talk about my daughter."

 

"Laurel-"

 

This time it was Laurel who interrupted her, her hand coming up serving as an aid.

 

"No, I have already listened. I listened for three years, three years in which I listened so much I ended up losing almost everything! What you did, what you all did- it nearly destroyed me. All that kept me sane, and still keeps me a float, is that girl inside. A girl who only knows that mom works really hard so she can help people; that her dad is gone because he got hurt trying to help people. There's no malice in her, and you? You reek it Annalise, you always have. Trouble wherever you go."

 

She paused for a breath, tried to organize the thousands of thoughts swirling inside her mind. Memories from long ago she had thought were left far behind, trying to resurface.

 

"I lost my best friend, I lost my sanity and I lost my purpose." She continued, calmer now, her breathing and voice returning to normal, the tears which had threatened to fall down her eyes now disappearing.

 

"You took all of that from me. Olivia gave it back."

 

Annalise stood there, taking every word in, her mind doing a race of its own, tears which had years in the making, forming and falling free down her cheek, a sob almost coming out from her lips.

 

It had taken courage to come to her apartment, to knock on her door and to try and initiate a conversation. Laurel would not deny the woman the courage, or the fact that more than dominant, she looked repented, as if the entire weigh of everything she had been causing over the years finally caught up with her.

 

"I heard you started working at Robin & Stan, I read it in an article. I figured it was as good as an excuse to try and come here. Trust me, I'm just as surprised as you are at my showing up at your doorstep. Out of the five, you're the first one I’ve tried to - to make contact with."

 

The comment had Laurel raising her eyebrows, hearing the number five drop from the woman's lips so casually, while it usually took Laurel all of her strength to even remember the K5; all of her strength and a good Cabernet.

 

"I've done many things I'm not proud of. Terrible things, mostly by ignoring the facts around me. But Wes-"

 

His name brought tears into both women's eyes.

 

"-Wes is what I will never forgive myself for."

 

"Neither will I." Laurel added, her stare still firm, but less judging.

 

"And I am not asking for it, would never ask you to. I'm not here begging for forgiveness, I'm not here to intrude on your daughter's life or yours." Annalise gulped as she tried to make her former student and employee understand and believe.

 

"I just wanted to see how you were, to congratulate you on being what I always knew you'd be."

 

A pause went by, Laurel finding herself unable to interrupt.

 

"A kick ass lawyer." Annalise added with a hint of a grin, as if the phrase carried within an inner joke which only she could understand.

 

The small gesture made Laurel relax and remember the date and place where she stood. Most importantly, she remembered the state of dress she was in.

 

"Just like you?" She couldn’t help, the words flying out of her mouth before she could control them.

 

Her face changed from stern to worried, but Annalise's grin only got wider and far more evident with the question, a glint in her eyes appearing, making Laurel remember that woman she had met on her first day of Criminal Law 100.

 

"Oh hell no, Ms. Castillo, nothing like me, infinitely a better lawyer and a better person than I ever was."

 

To her answer Laurel couldn’t help it, but she gave her old teacher a small smile, an offer of truce. It was Christmas morning after all.

 

"Mama! I want to open my last _regalos_!"

 

The voice was heard all the way in the hallway, the feisty and impatient five year-old shouting at the top of her lungs.

 

Laurel answered her back, reminding her she still had two more minutes inside her room before she could come out.

 

Annalise's smile dropped and snitch, a tiny fraction. Laurel noticed, her face leaning as she tried to fully comprehend the woman in front of her.

 

She was dressed as clean as ever, but there something in her style which told Laurel she wasn’t paying as much attention to her image as she used to. Her eyes were tired, filled with ghosts and work. Her posture defensive, not a trace of the confidant and arrogant lawyer she had once been.

 

"I talk to her about him you know, tell her stories about the time he worked with us, all the craziness is left out, but the basic dynamic? She knows it by heart. She knows all about you, Annalise. Even if I tried to shut you out of my life, there seems to be a way you crawl yourself back in it."

 

"She sounds like a smart kid. And why wouldn’t she be? With you and Wes for her parents."

 

His name brought her memories and a few silent tears. She didn’t cry often because of his memory. But having Annalise in front of her and Christmas lights in the background brought Laurel's emotional side out for a spin, and her eyes could not stay dry.

 

"She is."

 

"Mama, who's at the door? More than two minutes have gone!"

 

"Ollie?"

 

"Hi!" Olivia made her way pass her mother and into Annalise's view, where the girl smiled upon their visitor and extended her hand in politeness.

 

Annalise grew paralyzed for a second as she saw his eyes alive once again.

 

"Merry Christmas!" Olivia added, a silly grin on her face. "Who are you?"

 

Laurel sighed as soon as she realized her daughter was in view.

"She has his eyes, and smile, his kind heart, as well."

 

Annalise couldn’t form words, couldn’t move her limbs and could barely breathe properly.

 

"Olivia, this is Annalise. She was mom and dad's teacher, once upon a time."

 

The words came out of Laurel as the memories of Wes came to her, of his smile and easy going manner, his jokes and teases, his trust of her and his ability to try and see the good in people even when they gave you no reason to. Most of all, she spoke thinking on those moments in his apartment, the lights off, their breathing still a bit erratic, his voice soft and tentative as he spoke what Annalise meant to him. It had been a secret to the world except to Laurel.

 

"Hi," the kid spoke softly, the mere mention of her dad making her suddenly shy.

 

" _Feliz Navidad_ , Olivia." Annalise communicated, her Spanish fluent, if a bit funny.

 

Olivia giggled a bit, grabbing unto her mother, turning her head up to see her, as if waiting for a permission Laurel didn’t feel comfortable neither granting nor restricting.

 

" _Feliz Navidad_!"

 

The smile on the elder woman was one Laurel had never seen before. It was a free smile, a careless smile; one that held no responsibilities or burdens, filed with a joy only a kid could create.

 

"You know I can never forgive you for -for everything that happened."

 

The smile grew softer as Laurel spoke the words.

 

"I know. I'm not asking you to."

 

"But I can wish you a Merry Christmas, and honestly say: I hope you're doing well."

 

The older woman smiled, gently and with a bit of hesitation.

 

"Besides, it's Christmas, right _enana_?"

 

The young girl eagerly nodded, her eyes bright with innocence and a bit of impatience.

 

"And some of us are getting impatient, while others…would feel bad if she left a former professor go out in this weather."

 

"Does that mean I can open the rest of my presents?" Olivia almost shirked, making her mother jump and Annalise give out a small laugh.

 

"Yeah, go ahead."

 

"Is your teacher gonna stay for breakfast?" She inquired, voice soft, a question meant only for her mother, but that was obviously heard by both adults.

 

"If she doesn’t have anything else do to, and if she promises to tell you embarrassing stories of your dad."

 

"Really? Cool! Mom never tells me funny stories of her, do you know any funny stories of her? I love telling stories, and making up stuff! I have a very wild - _gintaiton_."

 

Olivia rambled, grabbing Annalise's hand and pulling her inside, not really taking notice of the way the adults looked at the other.

 

The bewildered and grateful stare of a lawyer whose life reflected in her tired and almost defeated stare. The tentative but firm stare of a woman whose life had taught her to up her guard, to live and relish the small things, while never forgetting all the tears she had shed.

 

Laurel would never forgive Annalise for dragging her down a rabbit hole it took her three years and a kid to finally escape. She would never forgive Annalise for making her suffer the loss of a best friend and a lover, for leaving Olivia without her dad. She would always be grateful though, because she had learned about life in those three years, had grown into the steel of a woman she was, had shown her she had he inner strength to take on the world and never doubt her abilities.

 

The apartment smelled of coffee and left over dinner from Christmas Eve, with the sounds of an energetic five year-old talking away and running around opening her gifts.

 

Laurel took in a breath of air, turning her head over to the one picture she kept of Wes in plain sight, a picture of the two of them, that first year, those first few months when she had already thought the world of him and he of her, the quiet ones wanting to make a difference.

 

"Merry Christmas Wes, I know you would have done the same."

 

 

 


End file.
